I’m patenting this shit…

  1. Willy Wonka brand cigarettes. Candy flavored deliciousness. Marketing to children? Nope! I’ll put dead  oompa loompas on the pack. The company won’t want to ruin their wholesome reputation? Fuck that. Jello and Marlboro are owned by the same company. 
  2. smart/vitamin vodka to be served at my future bar called Shaboom’s!
  3. an American Spirit ad campaign: Native American saying, “I’d sell my soul for a spirit,” and shaking hands w/ the devil.
  4. adult shoes modeled after shoes that were cool for kids in the 90’s. Light-up sneakers and Jellies, anyone? They will be called Kickbacks. 
  5. a documentary about cats

and that is how it’s done. 


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